when scheduling dozens of guys to shoot with me, i often feel so bad when the question inevitably gets asked, "hey can we hang out and chill after the shoot?"
as much as i'd love to, i rarely can. here is a look into the crazy schedule of a shoot day so all you sweeties can understand why the answer is, "i'm so sorry (and i truly AM sorry), but no".
actually, we'll start with the day beforehand.
it usually starts with The VP arriving at some godawful time in the morning. i think he does this on purpose to torture me. i don't do mornings. i hate mornings. the only good things in mornings is: a) breakfast in bed (and then you go back to sleep afterward), b) morning sex (and then you go back to sleep afterward), and c) seeing a beautiful sunrise (and then you go back to sleep afterward).
my typical bedtime is 4 am but i am often up til 7 am. my usual wake up time is 11:30 am on days i have things to do, and my typical sleep in time is 12:30pm. my morning equals most people's afternoons.
so, The VP, perhaps taking great glee in my schedule's ruination, arrives at around 8 am. i am barely coherent and shouldn't be behind the wheel at that time of day, but i pick him up and pretend i'm awake, probably avoiding many accidents by pure luck at mccarron international airport.
i drop him off at my house and go to the salon where i (now half awake) get my nails filled, a pedicure, my color polish is picked out in the hopes of matching the 40+ porn outfits i've packed for the shoots, an extra long leg message, my eyebrows waxed, eyelash extensions (never again!), and a really scrumptious facial.
then i go back to my house and pick up the VP so we can go grocery shopping for the week. fruit, snacks, melons, veggies and dip, cheese, crackers, water, flavored water, frozen dinners, trail mix, and booze. lots of booze. copious amounts of booze.
we leave most of the stuff in the car while we head back to my house. usually the VP has work to do, and i head upstairs to do my stuff. if there's anal scenes coming up, i'll start the first of several enemas to get me cleared out for tomorrow. i color my hair, de-hair the cootch and my legs, ass, underarms, face and arms. i do some with a depilatory cream, and some with an epilator. i dislike using razors. i've tried several epilators throughout the decades and currently have the emjoi emagine model. highly recommend! i do a few rounds of intense teeth whitening to make sure the smile looks good for the camera.
by this time, i have to head out to my required chiropractor adjustment/full body massage/cervico-sacro-lumbar decompression therapy (today's answer for traction for bad backs). ahh, that feels good. i need this because i will be sleeping six days on bad beds that ruin my back. plus it relaxes me and gets the good endorphins flowing.
since i have usually packed a day or so before, all we need to do is load up the car with our luggage. actually, i shouldn't say "we." because of my bad back and other health problems, its usually The VP who does the car loading and unloading although i do carry the little stuff!
so i head back to the house and within minutes, now that the car is packed to the gills (i hate big cars and i love my little import), and i can't even see out the rear window, we are ready to go.
last minute check on the house, leaving huge amounts of food and water for the cats (yes, i am a crazy cat lady), and readjusting the thermostat, off we go!!!
we head over to whatever porn palace i have rented, and let ourselves in. first, we reconnaissance by taking a walking tour through the house. we start counting shoots. each room can be used multiple times for a shoot, depending on how you block it. a room may have a nice oversized sitting chair, a couch, and a fireplace. boom. three solo locations right there. add a stunt cock and boom, you've got even more shoots in the same room. so we go through all the rooms and count. The VP is also looking at the lighting. We both prefer natural light (it can be softer on the skin than artificial light) even though we have brought several sets of professional lighting, and make a note of which shoots we want to do in the daytime to take advantage of that natural light.
then we settle in. unpack the food, lug stuff to their appropriate rooms, and i usually get the bedroom with the biggest bathroom and biggest closet, because of all the SHIT i have to bring to the shoots - make up, toiletries, hair products, porn outfits, sex toys, porn shoes, and on and on. i start thinking about which outfit i want to wear in each room and by each piece of furniture. i get my matching jewelry ready, and the porn shoes lined up. i get my makeup all ready on the vanity. toiletries, and necessities for quick hair touch ups are ready at my fingertips. sex toys are laid out and ready to go. the key is to make it as easy and quickly as possible to clean up, touch up and change outfits between each shoot so no time is wasted - we have a tight schedule and anyone who knows me well knows i am past the point of obsessive-compulsive when it comes to that damn schedule.
by this time, the VP has settled in and we run into each other somewhere in the house and plot our war strategy. we go over the list of guys who have signed up to shoot, and decide what kind of shoot we will be doing with him, and i make sure i have all the accessories we need for the shoots (last time, i realized that night that i forgot the whipped cream for a very messy food hardcore fucking shoot, and had to run out to get that). then the conversation rolls into other business matters, like getting my new, independent, 100% MINE site up and running.
by this time, the VP is on florida time, still, and is yawning, so it's time to say good night and off to bed.
for years, i could never sleep well the night before a shoot but lately that hasn't been the case.
it's about midnight now but i am tired because i've been up at what i consider the crack of dawn today, so i conk out with little difficulty and get a good night's sleep and am up at 8 am (7 am on the days we have anal shoots scheduled so i can prepare) to get ready for SHOOT DAY #1!!!
i usually have weird dreams the night before a shoot. sometimes my subconscious is telling me things it is worried about that could happen during a shoot so i listen to it and try to recall as best i can the dreams i had, so i can make sure all disasters are avoided!
i don't know why, but i am usually never hungry on shoot days. i rarely eat during the whole week. but lately, the only reason i eat is because The VP forces me to. he makes me something while he is making his food, and i will reluctantly eat it, knowing it will keep me energized all day and i'll need the energy (i am currently caffeine free!). but breakfast this morning is just not an option, unless the VP ran out to Mickey D's and brought me some of those delicious gooey sticky mini buns they sell. there's just no time for anything else.
this year, i spoiled myself and hired a professional hair and makeup artist to come every morning and "do me." so after a meticulous shower and making sure i didn't miss any hairy spots, she arrives and does my hair and makeup. she is a perfectionist and fusses incessantly over me. damn, where did those lines on my face and crows feet go? wish she could do that magic on my double chin and big belly...and my hair hasn't looked this good since....never!
she brings good tunes, and we get ready while listening to the Sons of Anarchy soundtrack (she and i further bond over our mutual fanaticism over SoA). i am feeling so relaxed, yet so excited.
by now, it's 10 am already! holy shit! time for the first stunt cock to arrive! where has the time gone? EEEEEEKK! my nipples get hard, my pussy starts to tingle, my cheeks get flushed, i get butterflies in my stomach, my heart starts to beat faster, because i know that in just a matter of minutes, i will be doing what i love best - fucking a sweet, handsome, virile, sexy man!
i race over to my porn clothes, and get dressed in the first porn outfit of the day.
THE END (of part 1)
part two coming soon - SHOOT DAY #1
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