FINALLY!

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"let's hang out after we shoot" = why this rarely happens

i absolutely love, love, love shoot weeks, even though they are grueling and take everything out of me.  i often have to take two days afterwards to recover.

when scheduling dozens of guys to shoot with me, i often feel so bad when the question inevitably gets asked, "hey can we hang out and chill after the shoot?"

as much as i'd love to, i rarely can.  here is a look into the crazy schedule of a shoot day so all you sweeties can understand why the answer is, "i'm so sorry (and i truly AM sorry), but no".

actually, we'll start with the day beforehand.

it usually starts with The VP arriving at some godawful time in the morning.  i think he does this on purpose to torture me.  i don't do mornings.  i hate mornings.  the only good things in mornings is: a) breakfast in bed (and then you go back to sleep afterward), b) morning sex (and then you go back to sleep afterward), and c) seeing a beautiful sunrise (and then you go back to sleep afterward).  

my typical bedtime is 4 am but i am often up til 7 am.  my usual wake up time is 11:30 am on days i have things to do, and my typical sleep in time is 12:30pm.  my morning equals most people's afternoons.

so, The VP, perhaps taking great glee in my schedule's ruination, arrives at around 8 am.  i am barely coherent and shouldn't be behind the wheel at that time of day, but i pick him up and pretend i'm awake, probably avoiding many accidents by pure luck at mccarron international airport.  

i drop him off at my house and go to the salon where i (now half awake) get my nails filled, a pedicure, my color polish is picked out in the hopes of matching the 40+ porn outfits i've packed for the shoots, an extra long leg message, my eyebrows waxed, eyelash extensions (never again!), and a really scrumptious facial.  

then i go back to my house and pick up the VP so we can go grocery shopping for the week.  fruit, snacks, melons, veggies and dip, cheese, crackers, water, flavored water, frozen dinners, trail mix, and booze.  lots of booze.  copious amounts of booze.

we leave most of the stuff in the car while we head back to my house.  usually the VP has work to do, and i head upstairs to do my stuff.  if there's anal scenes coming up, i'll start the first of several enemas to get me cleared out for tomorrow.  i color my hair, de-hair the cootch and my legs, ass, underarms, face and arms.  i do some with a depilatory cream, and some with an epilator.  i dislike using razors.  i've tried several epilators throughout the decades and currently have the emjoi emagine model.  highly recommend!  i do a few rounds of intense teeth whitening to make sure the smile looks good for the camera.  

by this time, i have to head out to my required chiropractor adjustment/full body massage/cervico-sacro-lumbar decompression therapy (today's answer for traction for bad backs).  ahh, that feels good.  i need this because i will be sleeping six days on bad beds that ruin my back.  plus it relaxes me and gets the good endorphins flowing.

since i have usually packed a day or so before, all we need to do is load up the car with our luggage.  actually, i shouldn't say "we."  because of my bad back and other health problems, its usually The VP who does the car loading and unloading although i do carry the little stuff!

so i head back to the house and within minutes, now that the car is packed to the gills (i hate big cars and i love my little import), and i can't even see out the rear window, we are ready to go.

last minute check on the house, leaving huge amounts of food and water for the cats (yes, i am a crazy cat lady), and readjusting the thermostat, off we go!!!

we head over to whatever porn palace i have rented, and let ourselves in.  first, we reconnaissance by taking a walking tour through the house.  we start counting shoots.  each room can be used multiple times for a shoot, depending on how you block it.  a room may have a nice oversized sitting chair, a couch, and a fireplace.  boom.  three solo locations right there.  add a stunt cock and boom, you've got even more shoots in the same room.  so we go through all the rooms and count.  The VP is also looking at the lighting.  We both prefer natural light (it can be softer on the skin than artificial light) even though we have brought several sets of professional lighting, and make a note of which shoots we want to do in the daytime to take advantage of that natural light.

then we settle in. unpack the food, lug stuff to their appropriate rooms, and i usually get the bedroom with the biggest bathroom and biggest closet, because of all the SHIT i have to bring to the shoots - make up, toiletries, hair products, porn outfits, sex toys, porn shoes, and on and on.  i start thinking about which outfit i want to wear in each room and by each piece of furniture.  i get my matching jewelry ready, and the porn shoes lined up.  i get my makeup all ready on the vanity.  toiletries, and necessities for quick hair touch ups are ready at my fingertips.  sex toys are laid out and ready to go. the key is to make it as easy and quickly as possible to clean up, touch up and change outfits between each shoot so no time is wasted - we have a tight schedule and anyone who knows me well knows i am past the point of obsessive-compulsive when it comes to that damn schedule.

by this time, the VP has settled in and we run into each other somewhere in the house and plot our war strategy.  we go over the list of guys who have signed up to shoot, and decide what kind of shoot we will be doing with him, and i make sure i have all the accessories we need for the shoots (last time, i realized that night that i forgot the whipped cream for a very messy food hardcore fucking shoot, and had to run out to get that).  then the conversation rolls into other business matters, like getting my new, independent, 100% MINE site up and running.  

by this time, the VP is on florida time, still, and is yawning, so it's time to say good night and off to bed.

for years, i could never sleep well the night before a shoot but lately that hasn't been the case.  

it's about midnight now but i am tired because i've been up at what i consider the crack of dawn today, so i conk out with little difficulty and get a good night's sleep and am up at 8 am (7 am on the days we have anal shoots scheduled so i can prepare) to get ready for SHOOT DAY #1!!!  

i usually have weird dreams the night before a shoot.  sometimes my subconscious is telling me things it is worried about that could happen during a shoot so i listen to it and try to recall as best i can the dreams i had, so i can make sure all disasters are avoided!

i don't know why, but i am usually never hungry on shoot days.  i rarely eat during the whole week.  but lately, the only reason i eat is because The VP forces me to.  he makes me something while he is making his food, and i will reluctantly eat it, knowing it will keep me energized all day and i'll need the energy (i am currently caffeine free!).  but breakfast this morning is just not an option, unless the VP ran out to Mickey D's and brought me some of those delicious gooey sticky mini buns they sell.  there's just no time for anything else. 

this year, i spoiled myself and hired a professional hair and makeup artist to come every morning and "do me."  so after a meticulous shower and making sure i didn't miss any hairy spots, she arrives and does my hair and makeup.  she is a perfectionist and fusses incessantly over me. damn, where did those lines on my face and crows feet go?  wish she could do that magic on my double chin and big belly...and my hair hasn't looked this good since....never!

she brings good tunes, and we get ready while listening to the Sons of Anarchy soundtrack (she and i further bond over our mutual fanaticism over SoA).  i am feeling so relaxed, yet so excited.

by now, it's 10 am already!  holy shit! time for the first stunt cock to arrive!  where has the time gone?  EEEEEEKK!  my nipples get hard, my pussy starts to tingle, my cheeks get flushed, i get butterflies in my stomach, my heart starts to beat faster, because i know that in just a matter of minutes, i will be doing what i love best - fucking a sweet, handsome, virile, sexy man!

i race over to my porn clothes, and get dressed in the first porn outfit of the day.

THE END (of part 1)

part two coming soon - SHOOT DAY #1

why i get mad when fans tell me they love my porn....that they saw on a free website.

i've been in the adult industry for over nine years now.  i can't believe it.  and i got a late start at it.  how late, exactly, i wont say ;-)  but let's just say i am starting to think about entering the GILF market.  and my only regret is that i didn't start sooner, and that i didn't get hooked up with a quality photographer sooner.

so, over the last nine years, there's been a lot of porn i've made!  it thrills me when people pay hard earned money to get my product.  it validates me, and all my hard work, and all the time and trouble it took to make that product.

back when i first started, i got together with my BFFs and we shot each other with no experience, no education about photography, no really great equipment, but a lot of enthusiasm and love for what we were doing.  

then over four years ago, i met someone who partnered with me, and he, throughout the years, invested thousands of dollars into photography equipment, paid for professional photography classes, and taught himself the art, yes, the ART of photography.  i've been impressed over the years at his dedication and desire to better himself at his craft, his passion.

so i stepped the ante, as well.

i now rent expensive "porn palaces" by the week, send the owners a hefty security deposit (some are refundable, some aren't!), get a nail fill, pedicure, facial, eyebrow wax, hair cut, hair color, eyelash extensions (big mistake on that one and will never do that again), massage, dozens of new porn clothes, several new "fuck me heels", new sex toys, and spend hours upon hours sending out shoot information and scheduling time slots for the guys who want to shoot with me.  plus time spent on social media letting people know about upcoming shoots if they'd like to shoot with us.

i also pay to fly my photographer/videographer/editor into vegas, round trip, and pay him a commission on all the hard work he does.

feeding people snacks and liquids and alcohol for 40 shoots can get quite pricey as well.

and for the first time, during my summer shoots in 2014, i had a paid bona fide hair design school graduate and make up artist fix me up every morning to make me camera ready.    

the summer 2014 shoots in vegas literally cost me thousands of dollars.  but i do this because i know that it will reap me a good return on my investment.  i wouldn't do it otherwise.  i consider myself a somewhat savvy business thinker, and while i am not always right, i do believe that it can take money to make money, and i do believe in consistently putting out a QUALITY product, because people will come back and buy more of your quality product.  

how do you think it makes us porn workers feel, especially those who are independent and rely on sales to make a living, when we hear that people are seeing it for free on a porntube site?  it can be demoralizing.  i love my fans and members who email me with a link and let me know that they've found my porn on a porntube site so i can send those sites a DMCA to take it down.  sorry, freeloaders, to spoil your fun, but you have no idea how much it cost to make that video. if you're going to post my porn for free, at least post my link so people know where to go to buy more.  that's the least you can do. 

i know our economy is in a sad state.  i know that $15 is a lot of money to a lot of people.  i know there are people who struggle paying their utilities and their rent or their mortgage or their car payment.  gawd, add on child support, food, car insurance, heath insurance, taxes - we are being beaten down.  but i feel like if someone has enough money for a smartphone or a laptop and an internet connection and the electricity to power it,  they can save up $15 to buy a video.

when someone says to me, "i love the free photos you post, but i want to see the x-rated stuff," and i ask them to join my site, they say they can't afford it.  if that's the truth, OK, i can accept that and understand that.  but unless you are at a public library, using their computer, their electricity and their internet connection, i would think you can afford to buy a membership or video of mine.

a lot of you have followed me for years and know that i keep positive, avoid drama, and hate to complain.  but when i spend LITERALLY THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS to bring you high quality porn, shot with professional HD equipment, professional lighting, by a man who has spent years perfecting his craft, editing it on state-of-the-art editing equipment, and i have taken hours and spent a ton of money before my shoots to prepare myself physically at the salon, not to mention all the planning and coordinating and scheduling and buying of new props, only to hear someone say it's not worth it, we'll go find it on a free site, i feel like i should speak up.  because it's not just me.  it is thousands of fellow amateur porn people who have the same thing happening to them.

so, please don't ever question why your favorite amateur porn actress disappeared and no longer is in the business.  if you didn't support her in the most tangible way, by buying her product, most of us have no reason to stay.

THE END(s)!

two years and four days ago, i came around the mountains and rolled into las vegas with all my worldly possessions in a big moving truck, my car towed behind me on a dolly, my cats in the front cab with me in a huge cage that took up most of the front seats and a good friend who offered to help me drive 1800 miles across the country, and a whirl of thoughts going through my head, most of which sounded like, "are you completely crazy?  what the hell are you doing???"

i left dear family and dear friends and my beloved state of florida all to take a chance.  in some ways, it paid off and in other ways, it broke my heart.  i have now been grieving for almost two years - sometimes riding high with my head in the clouds thinking it can't get better than this, and sometimes grieving so bad i actually was committed to a loony bin for 9 days to get emergency help because i was suicidal.  mostly that is because i thought by coming to vegas, i would be with the love of my life, and that didn't turn out the way i thought it would, and the worst part is, there is nothing this person will let me do to help him.  women are, by nature, nurturers and helpers.  and when you see someone you love with all your heart suffering and hurting, the lowest he has ever been in his life, telling you he is in the bottom of a black, lightless pit and cannot climb out, and they won't let you help, it tears you apart.  and when you see someone you love sinking even deeper into that deep depression and not letting ANYONE help them, even professional help, you sink into a depression as well.

i have finally understood, after two years, that there is nothing i can do to help someone if your help is not welcome.  and so i am finally on the road to healing.

i am single, and happily so.  my motto still is: i would rather be single and happy, than partnered and miserable.

i'm extremely strong, self sufficient, and don't need a man, or anyone, for that matter, to complete me.  i have been told by both men and women that this intimidates some men.  i rarely ask for help and i rarely need company.  i enjoy being alone.  so while all this may be dooming my chances of growing old with someone, i think i am ok with that.  or maybe i am still holding out hope that HE will someday be healed and will accept me again.  i'll have to talk to my shrink about that....

business-wise, my website is doing better than it ever has, and other professional pursuits have paid off well.  i have one of the best health insurance plans in the united states, and i am using it every single week.  i have had hearing problems, carpal tunnel issues, lung problems, heart problems, internal bleeding problems, cervico-thoraco-lumbo-sacral back issues, migraines, headaches, vision problems, photophobia, two free dental cleanings a year, deep dental cleaning to prevent periodontal disease, and psychiatric issues all being addressed thanks to this insurance.  to say that my social life has been doctor visits is not an understatement.  that's what you get when you are self employed in porn and don't have health insurance for years.

i still love doing porn.  my photographer/videographer/business partner/man of many hats and i have our shoots down to a science.  they go smoothly and are stress free.  it's just the planning before the shoots that are difficult.  scheduling 40 guys to shoot over six days can be daunting and takes a lot of time to communicate with each one.  but it's worth all the time and effort.  we shoot about four times a year, three to six days at a time.  

i've been in the adult entertainment industry for nine years now.  webcam girl, phone sex operator,  live voyeur cam house, live group internet sex shows, escort, tantrika, professional dominatrix, fantasy girl, video porn, photo porn, writer...it never gets old.  it's always fascinating.  there's always a new fetish i hear about, there's always a new person to meet and get to know and make sizzling porn with.

my niche at the moment is redhead bbw white MILF fucks younger black man.  well, ok, that's several niches, but it has been working great and i truly love doing these shoots.  something about a younger black man who loves older  thicker white women never ceases to thrill me.  i don't need a lot of artificial lube during my shoots, if you know what i mean ;-)

my next round of shoots is this fall in las vegas - oct 29, 30, 31 and nov 3, 4 and 5.  simply email me if you'd like to give it a try.  porn virgins welcome.  sammie_sc2@yahoo.com.  i will also be shooting this january during avn week.

my photographer often asks me what am i going to do when i am too old to shoot porn.  first, i don't see that happening any time soon, barring any health complications.  i still haven't entered the GILF market yet.  he is encouraging me to get behind the camera, and i have thought about it, but i am not committed to it yet.

i think what i am going to do, though, is write about my real-life experiences in swinging, bdsm, porn, etc, and sell it on amazon.  have you seen the plethora of amateur bbw books on there?  not to mention bdsm and other sexual topics?  i love to write and i have a life long catalog of real-life escapades to choose from, not to mention a few fictional ideas that have been banging around my brain, so i think i will pursue that first.  i will most likely publish it under sammie so be watching for it.  

i am so blessed to have my business partner, because even if my personal life is in upheaval, he never fails to update my site once a week.  be sure to check out the new video and new photo shoot every friday at sensualsammie.com.  remember, if you want to see all the xxx footage, you must join the members section.  we are also working on launching a new site that is totally independent and will offer you direct phonesex and webcam access to me, and we hope that will happen in the beginning of 2015.  there is so much to do, i keep getting sidetracked with my finances, and that keeps getting pushed to the backburner, but it truly is on our priority list.

this has been a pretty intimate (for me) journal entry because i am a very private person and rarely bare-all when it comes to my private life.  and i hate being negative and often just withdraw rather than foist my negativeness on other people.  but thank you for sticking with me these past two years.  i cannot thank my loyal members and customers for your hard-earned money being spent on my porn;  you have no idea how much it helps independent porn workers live their lives.  nowadays, with free porn available everywhere and an economy still in chaos, i know how precious your dollar is and i truly appreciate you purchasing my product.  

peace, 

sammie

so it's been a long time.

the move to las vegas has been wonderful, and terrible.  too much to get into right now, but the blog bug has hit and i do believe it's time for me to revisit this little side project and invest some time and thought into it.

in the meantime, feel free to follow me on twitter @sammieSC2 where i try to condense a page of words into 140 characters.

and don't forget to visit my site, sensualsammie.com.  this blog may have been silent, but sensualsammie.com has a new video and photo set every week!

hugs,
sammie