And that is how I met the first love of my life. He has a very unusual name, so I don't want to say it here. Let's call him Carn.
I saw Carn the very first day at my new school and I immediately fell head over heels in lust with him. He worked out in the high school's gym regularly and had a body to die for. He was part Native American and always had a deep dark tan. He had piercing, intense hazel eyes, and long brown hair that was kissed with natural highlights from the sun.
And I couldn't believe it when one of his guy friends told me he liked me.
I don't recall how our courtship began, but I remember our first kiss. I had been kissed before, many times. But nothing like this. He was MALE. He was ALPHA. He was aggressive, he was strong, he was raging teenage hormones and man, were his lips soft. The hardness of his muscles, the smoothness of his skin, the silkiness of his long hair, those eyes that could see right through me...that kiss took my breath away and it still does whenever I think of it.
I think the reason why I fell so hard with him was because he was the first true dominant male I ever encountered on a personal level.
I was anti-drug in Illinois. Florida, and Carn, changed all that. (Let the record show that now, today, I am drug free - recent trials of marijuana again only led to paranoia each time...no thanks.)
When you are raised Catholic, then Pentecostal, it is drummed into you that premarital sex is wrong. I held out until I was 17. Carn was extremely sexual and flat out told me that he would not be able to resist the advances of Wanda, his very promiscuous teenage next door neighbor. Indeed, Wanda was 17 and already was on her second pregnancy. I knew he wasn't kidding. She flirted shamelessly with him, even right in front of me. How could I compete with that? I considered giving him my blessing to have sex with her. Honestly, I don't think it would have bothered me to give her proxy so that I could hold on to my blessed virginity.
But then one day we were discussing going skating with a neighborhood girl and she changed the subject abruptly and with amazingly excited eyes told us how her boyfriend would take her in back of the school each day while waiting for the bus, and finger her. She was only 15. I got very uncomfortable. I never let Carn finger me inside, or any other boy for that matter, and I was 17. Up in Illinois, only the REALLY "bad girls" did that. Yet as she described it, I knew it must have been pleasurable for her, and she said she couldn't wait for him to do it again tomorrow.
Florida was different than Illinois not just in acceptance of drug use. I knew three girls on my bus who got pregnant that year.
The girl left my house after we decided to go skating that Saturday and Carn and I just sat there in my family's TV room with the door shut. He looked at me with those amazing green eyes tipped with amber around the edges and said, "See, it's not that bad."
My mind was torn. I wanted to feel the orgasm she felt, I wanted to feel Carn's finger in me "down there" and I really wanted to please him and make him happy. But I wanted to stay relatively pure. Christian guilt is a powerful motivator.
But Carn was a true alpha dominant, and he wore down my defenses by appealing to the submissive side of me. How did he know to do that? Instinct, I'm guessing.
"You have no idea how much it would please me if you let me finger you like that. I want to make you cum so bad. You WILL cum, for me. For ME! You will like it, and you will see how much it would make me happy. I love your body and I want to see it react to what I'm doing to it. "
That did it.
The kid was only 17 years old. I wonder what he's like now, with years of experience to hone the skills of dominant persuasion.
And so, right there on the family couch, with that new network, MTV, in the background, my vagina, my pussy, my hoohah, my love tunnel, my yoni, my sacred spot, my CUNT, was entered for the first time.
And he was right. It did please him, he did make me cum, he did love watching my reaction to his hands, his will, and I did like it. Oh, did I like it.
My vagina has never been the same. From a state of dormancy to intense, power sexual hunger that has plagued me all my life. All those sexual feelings and thoughts I had had since early childhood were now finally turning into reality. There was no turning back. I knew right then it was only a short matter of time before I went "all the way." And I knew it would be, it HAD to be, with Carn.
No one was else was worthy to "take" it.
My yoni still gets the wettest when it is being controlled by a dominant male.
Some things things never change.
