I've always loved nature. I've always felt so primal, so earthy, so attuned to nature. So it's no surprise that even amid fire ants with huge anthills and bees and horseflies, I would sexually experiment outdoors.
Whether it was a horse field with Carn at 16, or a make-out place under the stars next to a lake with Monroe at 18 or even now, camping in a forest or on a nature trail, I love outdoor sex.
I work in porn now, and I try to do as many outdoor shoots as I can. Unfortunately, neither my photographer or I can handle 95 degree heat with 95% humidity so that doesn't happen much.
Just like in Illinois, I soon developed a core group of friends and we would go out every weekend together. There wasn't much to do in Florida back then. Movies, the roller skating rink, and sitting around a campfire skipping school, going to Anna Maria Island and skinny dipping in the gulf with the manatees and the dolphins, Lithia Springs Park, smoking weed and making out with your boyfriend. That was about it.
Once Carn fingered me, he really stepped up his campaign to have a girlfriend that would give in to his sexual demands whenever he wanted it. As of yet, I was still a virgin but he was working on that.
One night some friends of ours, a couple, asked us to give them a ride to the church youth group and tried their best to get me and Carn to go in with them. I was already plagued with guilt about the things I let Carn do to me, and my mom insisted I go to church with her every Sunday, so I didn't want to sit through another three hour session of religious guilt on a Friday night. So we said no, dropped them off, and found a place to park.
We found a secluded area hidden by palm trees that had a huge live oak tree in the center. It obviously was a safe make-out place - condoms and beer bottles were strewn everywhere. Carn parked and proceeded to work his magic.
I never tired of his touch. His kisses never grew old. Whether it be coming to school early and making out in a deserted second floor outdoor wing or in the middle of an orange grove, I treasured and greedily waited for our next encounter. And there was always a next encounter. Carn said he loved the fact that I loved it as much as he did, and I never said no. And it's true. Although I was still a virgin and we did "everything but," I never said no to our trysts. His touch inflamed me. I only felt truly ALIVE when we were locked together exploring each other.
Don't get me wrong. I was still attracted to other guys. And I even experimented with them. That is why I say that I have never in my life had a monogamous relationship. And I don't believe in them, to this day. It's just unnatural to me.
And with the huge divorce rate in part to infidelity, I'm not the only one who feels that way.
When the youth meeting was over, we picked up our friends. "How was it?" I asked. "Eh, it was OK," they both replied. I just looked at Carn and grinned. He grinned back. Our times together were NEVER just "OK."
Surprisingly, I found out later this couple had sex on a regular basis, yet went to youth group. Meanwhile I was virgin because of my religious beliefs, yet did all I could to avoid church.
Carn was the first person to give me oral sex. It was in the middle of a cow pasture under another old live oak tree. Cows were mooing all over, sometimes coming a wee bit too close for comfort, the flies were biting me, and I was always on the lookout for fire ants. It was hot, it was humid, I was sweating. But Carn was between my legs, doing impossibly ecstatic things to me, with his fingertips, his whole fingers, and his mouth. He instinctively knew about orgasm control, and then forced orgasms.
He would use his tongue and fingers to bring me just to the brink, and then he would hold off, laughing, looking at me with those beautifully exotic cat eyes while he bit my nipples and tweaked them, while I would almost be on the verge of tears with orgasmic frustration. When he saw that I lost the edge, he would go back down and do it all over again. When he finally allowed me to cum, it's amazing the farmer didn't hear it acres away at his house. Intense is putting it mildly.
And then, he would pin me down. Remember, he worked out every day at the high school weight room and he was as strong as a bull (just as stubborn too...coincidentally, he is a Taurus!). I was unable to move, he would keep me pinioned as he made me cum over and over and over again. I was screaming, crying, yelling, begging him to stop because it was all so intense, so exquisite, so painful, too pleasurable and he wouldn't stop.
There ya go. He wouldn't stop. HE WOULDN'T STOP. Crying, pleading, at his mercy, he wouldn't stop.
Another reason why I loved him so.
HE would decide what pleasure, HE would decide how much pleasure, and HE would decide when I would receive the pleasure. And the pleasurable pain.
Carn brought out all the latent submissive feelings I had all my life into full force. No one ever did that before him. Maybe because they just didn't know how. Once he took control of me, there was no turning back. All the boyfriends I had before him seemed inept. He was truly my first love.
I remember the first time I ever sucked cock. It was Carn's. It was a huge step for me. But it seemed so natural once I did it. I remember looking up at his face, as his cock was fully in my throat, touching my tonsils, engaging the gag reflex, my throat convulsively closing around it, and I was struck full force by the utter sense of joy and peace in his face, eyes closed, mouth smiling, cheeks relaxed. And I realized I also felt an utter sense of joy and peace. I was pleasing him. I was making him happy. I was serving him. Once I realized how much pleasure ***I*** was giving him, I did it as often as I could. Of course, he didn't mind in the least.
Even to this day, I love to suck cock. I love to give that pleasure. It speaks deep down to the submissive in me.
Again, some things never change.
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